Three Simple Questions
As a DEI practitioner, individuals often seek my counsel and advice about complex situations. In these moments, I remind myself of my purpose – to equip and empower others to create change. My role in these exchanges is not to solve problems or resolve issues. Instead, I work to help the person I am with make sense of their experiences, identify the root causes, and visualize a path forward. This approach, based on self-efficacy theory (Bandura, 1977), allows individuals to grow and develop while maintaining a sense of autonomy and control. To build stronger, more effective, and resilient organizations, we need the people in them to build the capacity to navigate uncomfortable and challenging situations. This is especially critical in diverse organizational environments. Research demonstrates that self-efficacy-based diversity training improves participants' ability to effectively navigate diversity dynamics in the workplace (Combs & Luthans, 2007). Telling someone what to do breeds complacency and over-reliance on the existing system. Guiding someone to identify their own solutions inspires innovation and unleashes their confidence in their ability to create change.
There are three key questions that guide this approach. These are my favorite inquiry tools when advising others.
What’s going on? – Simple, I know, but it is surprising how quickly we move to solutions before really understanding the issue. Creating space for people to reflect on the who, what, where, when, and why of the situation is a critical form of sensemaking that can lead to important insights. As the individual is sharing, I engage in deep listening to identify the critical moments when conflict or disagreement occurs. These moments lead to the second question.
Help me to understand…? – This is by far my favorite question. It is an invitation to the individual to identify the root causes of the problem and begin identifying solutions. Once again, the goal is to build their capacity, not demonstrate your knowledge. Asking variations of this question based on the insights gleaned from the first question gives the individual the opportunity to figure out what is most important to them. For example, if they discuss their frustration at being left out of a project perhaps based on their identity, I will ask, “Help me to understand why it is so important for you to be involved in this project?” The answer to this question shifts the focus to the root cause and opens possibilities to address the root of the problem instead of the dynamics that are often masking the core issue. Common variations of this question include things like, Help me to understand:
…when you started feeling this way and how it is impacting your experience?
…the dynamics in the group and how they may have contributed to this situation?
…what you have influence over in the situation that can impact the outcome?
What is the ideal outcome of this situation for you? – This may be the most important of the three questions. Asking about the outcome moves the individual away from the current situation and focuses attention on the future. Armed with the insights revealed during the reflection prompted by the prior two questions, the person now has a deeper understanding of the core issues and the ways they can influence them. This question encourages them to name a goal or goals and begin to strategize ways to achieve the change they are hoping for.
These three questions position me to be a better advisor because I have a clearer picture of what the individual seeking my counsel is facing and what is most important to them. I am more confident that any advice I give will be based on their needs and not my own opinions or perspectives. They have also provided clues along the way about the places I can encourage them to focus on for meaningful change. I also learn a lot about the organization, which helps me to influence systemic change. I see patterns across departments and the dynamics of the organizational culture and how it evolves or shifts across divisions. I am also able to make connections to resources and support that people are unaware exist.
People value and seek out my counsel not because I give them the answers but because I help them to gain clarity and discover insights they might not otherwise have seen. I give them the space to think through their options, test their ideas, and make sense of what they are experiencing. I help them to feel more confident about the things they are doing, increasing their selef-efficacy. I am helping them to find their voice, to be brave, to dig deeper, to name the issue, to process the emotion, to make change for themselves and others. This is my purpose and the thing that drives my work. Equipping and empowering others to be brave and authentic at work.
How can you incorporate these three questions into your next interaction with a direct report or colleague that seeks your advice?